Cats Online Two!
I retrieved these from the Re-Catcycle Bin - seems the two moggies of my acquaintance have been back at their respective keypaweds again over the past month! - Blue Cap
Sent: 2nd February 2002
My Dear Anakin,
At long last I've managed to get back on the keypawed. Old Blue Cap has been hogging it for the past couple of weeks. Anyway I was down by the stove, and overheard him say he was going out for a while, so here we are. How are you doing? Isn't this weather awful? Hate all this windy stuff. Ruffles the fur up the wrong way and not good for the whiskers. And then there's the heavy rain... I haven't had to do so much paw cleaning for ages. The trouble is Blue Cap keeps standing at the back door expecting me to go out... it's all right for him, he has a pair of those boot things I think they call them. Doesn't know what it's like at our level... but I've forced myself out once or twice because it's brought the odd treat when I come back in. Talking of treats, I feel really catty about the amount being given out to those pesky birds at the moment. There are two of those nut-holder things over by my favourite corner... and BC fills them up every morning... and sometimes in the evening as well. And then he goes and spreads nasty little seed things (I had a taste once - awful!) on the grass as well. And all that happens is that we get twice as many of the pesky little birds twittering and tweetering and flapping all day long. It's an absolute pain in the paws.
I could go on but I hear the purr of one of those car things outside, so I'd better nip back to the stove.
Please cat-mail soon.
Your loving Uncle Sam.
Sent: 4th February 2002
Dear Uncle Sam,
You don't sound very happy at all. Like you I've been hating all this weather... spend much of the time on the top shelf in the bathroom... warmest place in this house and as far as I can make out, about the only worthwhile thing Blue Cap has ever done around here. He hasn't been up here for a week or two... but I overheard that he's staying down with you because his dad's not well. So, looks like you're stuck with him. I agree with what you say about the birds... I was at the back door the other day... not venturing out because of the wind... and saw some bits of chicken I'd had my eye on being thrown out on the lawn... and the next minute down came those awful crow and gull things and that was that. What a waste! I even took a look back in at my dish, but nothing. Don't know what they're thinking of. Purrs fail me.
Hang on, I hear Miss Helen's voice... better go... make sure there's no fur on the keypawed.
Best Wishes from your Nephew Anakin.
Sent: 15th February 2002
Dear Anakin,
You'll never guess. Old Blue Cap has sent some catsnaps of yours truly off to that moggies-on-line thing for their Rogues Cattery or Gallery or somesuch. First I knew of it was when he came in with one of those catemara things and started pointing it in my face. It was so annoying. I hadn't even had a chance to spruce up the whiskers. Then I noticed he had some treats in his other hand, so I went through with it. But I warn you, BC will probably be doing the same to you when he's next up the road. Don't give in easily and certainly not before they've been to the biscuit box.
Love from Uncle Sam.
Sent: 17th February 2002
Dear Uncle Sam,
You were catsolutely right. Old BC was up this weekend, and sure enough, out came that catemara thing... right in the face, as you purrdicted. He took about six catsnaps I think... but it felt more like purrty-six. Like you though, I just let him get on with it... it was worth a few extra biccies. I had a look at your photos in Rogues Gallery... very distinguished, if you don't mind me saying. Whiskers look fine... keep an eye open for mine appearing, if you get anywhere near the keypawed.
Anakin
Sent: 21st February 2002
Dear A,
Just a short note to say it seems that both our catsnaps are on show now.
Your whiskers look GREAT! How do you keep them so spiky? Mind you, when I was your age mine were pretty smart too. I had quite a few admirers... I have fond memories of two in particular from the farm down the road. Ah well.
The weather is still awful down here...the wind and rain just go on and on...and I'm even finding it difficult to make it over to my favourite corner at night. And I overheard Blue Cap say that snow was purrdicted... which is even worse, purrticularly with a low undercarriage like mine.
Take care.
Your Uncle Sam
Sent: 23rd February 2002
Dear Nephew,
BC was right for once. The snow has arrived. Lots of it. I just sat at the back door and watched it come down. It even came in through my cat-flap. I don't know how I'll make it through the day... I'll have to dash out at some point. And to make it worse, he was out again giving those awful little birds even MORE of their seedy things. And he hasn't given me a good brush for days either. I'm sorry to sound so catty, but apart from the catsnaps appearing it really has been an appawling month. Let's hope things perk up a bit.
Lots Of Love - Sam
