Cat Property Cat Definitions 10 Signs Your Cat Is Overweight
Cats...
- ...always do what they want, when they want.
- ...rarely listen to you.
- ...are totally unpredictable.
- ...whine when they are not happy.
- ...want to be alone when you want to play.
- ...want to play when you want to be alone.
- ...expect you to cater to their every whim.
- ...leave hair everywhere.
- ...drive you nuts.
- ...want what you are eating.
- ...want to help you read the paper.
- If I like it, it's mine.
- If I saw it first, it's mine.
- If it's in my paw, it's mine.
- If it looks like mine, it's mine.
- If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
- If I can take it away from you, it's mine.
- If there's more than one, ALL of them are mine.
- If you have something and you put it down,
it automatically becomes mine.
- If it's mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours
in any way.
- If it's boring or doesn't taste good, IT'S YOURS!
- Aquarium: Interactive television for cats.
- Cat: 1. A lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer. 2. A four footed allergen. 3. A small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist. 4. A small, furry lap fungus. 5. A treat-seeking missile. 6. A wildlife control expert. 7. One who sleeps in old, empty pizza boxes. 8. A hair relocation expert. 9. An unprogrammable animal.
- Cataclysm: Any great upheaval in a cat's life.
- Caterpillar: A soft scratching post for a cat.
- Cat Scan: To look for a new cat.
- Dog: A cat device for running practice.
- Door: something a cat always wants to be on the other side of.
- Human: An automatic door opener for cats.
- Impurrsonate: To act like the cat.
- Kitten: A small homicidal bundle of fur on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners. Get at least two!
- Purrade: An organized march of cats.
- Purradise: The garden of Cats.
- Purramour: A cat lover.
- Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.
- Purraphernalia: A cat's personal belongings.
- Purrch: Any favoured feline napping spot.
- Purrchase: Anything bought for a cat.
- Purrgatory: A houseful of kittens.
- Purrmission: A feline hunting expedition.
- Purrpetual: Everlasting feline love.
- Purrplex: A house with two or more cats.
- Purrson: A male kitten.
- Purrsuit: The garment your shedding cat rubs against just as you are leaving home to go to an important meeting.
- Purrverse: A poem about a wicked kitty.
- Yawn: A cat's honest opinion openly expressed.
- Has more chins than lives.
- Enormous furry gut keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed.
- He only catches mice that get trapped in his gravitational pull.
- It’s no longer safe to lift him without a spotter.
- Luxurious, shiny black fur replaced with mint green polyester pantsuit.
- No longer cleans herself unless coated in Cheese Whiz.
- Fifteen month gestation period, and still no kittens.
- Fewer calls to the fire department, but a sudden upsurge in broken branches.
- Confused guests constantly mistaking her for beanbag chair.
- Cat door retrofitted with garage-door opener.